4th group member peer review

I never received his paper so I was never able to fill one out for him. I told him in class on Friday that I had never received his paper but he still never sent it to me. That being said, I'm not sure what his name is. I can tell you that I did fill one out for Andy and Kevin because they actually provided me with their paper.


P.S. is 11 pages too long? SORRY...

Peer Review and Commentary—Feature Story

The Lead:

How does the lead pull the reader in and entice her to read on?  Is it surprising, or are claims made that are common knowledge (note: the reader shouldn’t be able to say, ‘well duh.’)?  Is it effective?  Can it be made more effective?  (think details, human drama, evocative language—why/why not do you want to read on?)

The first paragraph is very effective and I am really interested to keep reading to see what your paper is about. I don’t know why but “…the cars lurch forward, both of them” bugs me. The fact that the cars you’re talking about are a Porsche versus an electric car entices me to continue reading.

Does the lead give a clear indication of what the story will be about, or rely on mystery, or both?  Would more of a thesis be helpful?  Would less of a thesis be advised?  Is the reader aware of the importance of a topic—why it matters and is worth learning about?  Adversely, if for more entertainment purposes, is the topic engaging enough to compel reading?

The lead is very effective at telling me what the rest of the paper will be about but I am slightly confused though how you will cover this topic in 2,400 words, will you have enough material to talk about? Are you talking about Tesla the company or car or Elon Musk??? The second paragraph answers my question...

Organization:

Consider how the story is structured.  Chronological, thematic, chapter/section-based, inquiry-driven?  Is it effective?  Be specific—if a paragraph doesn’t transition well into the next, mention it and provide suggestions for improvement.

I am not exactly sure how the story is structured; it just seems to go from an idea to the next. I believe it is effective because it maintained my interest in reading the story.

Is each paragraph well focused, or are several ideas competing for attention?  How can better focus be achieved?

The paragraphs are very well focused and stay on one topic and when a new topic is brought to discussion, a new paragraph is started.

Are there certain points (factual or narrative based) that require more development?  Are you, the reader, unclear at certain points?  Are any ideas superfluous or distracting?

I don’t believe you have any problems in this area besides finishing your paper.

Balance of human interest and information.  Point out sections that become too bogged down in dry facts.  Adversely, find sections that rely on narrative without giving the reader proper background information and factual points of reference.

I think your paper could use more facts. I am really interested in how the Tesla’s is a better car than the other ones available and how Musk was capable of creating an electric car that can beat a Porsche while being sound and gas-less.

Are claims backed up by examples, evidence, research?  Are sensory details employed effectively?  Are abstractions made concrete through use of examples and details?

Claims are backed up and your ‘abstract’ ideas are concretely related to the topic.

How is the story concluded?  Does it wrap up the topic neatly and provide closure?  Does it ask bigger questions or compel the reader to search for more?  Are you left wanting more (and is this a good thing)?  Is it effective?

The author did not provide a conclusion.

Voice and Audience

Characterize the story’s voice and tone?  Is it suitable for the topic?  Is it engaging?  Is it consistent throughout the piece?  If first person POV is used, is this effective or jarring (remember, most story’s should rely on the strength of the topic for engagement, not the evidence of authorial intrusion).

The authors tone is informative like he respects Musk for his achievements.  

Try to characterize the audience.  What venue (publication) do you think this story suits?  Why?  Does the author effectively address this audience (too dumbed-down or sensational, too dry and esoteric)?

The author’s audience is car enthusiasts, nature lovers and eco-friendly activists. This story would suit a car magazine or eco-friendly publication and quite possibly a science magazine for his developments in electrical energy powering cars which is such a new development in our society.

Mechanics

Mark any ineffective or over-used word/phrase choices.  Mark any repetitive sentence structures.  Offer advice on vocabulary, syntax, and sentence structure.

I don’t really have anything to say, you don’t have any noticeable mistakes.  

Sorry Andy... I got a little angry about your topic.

Peer Review and Commentary—Feature Story

The Lead:

How does the lead pull the reader in and entice her to read on?  Is it surprising, or are claims made that are common knowledge (note: the reader shouldn’t be able to say, ‘well duh.’)?  Is it effective?  Can it be made more effective?  (think details, human drama, evocative language—why/why not do you want to read on?)

The first two lines need better flow, the transition is choppy. Poor syntax “Yes guns..carry knives” UM PEOPLE ALREADY CARRY KNIVES… Next sentence- grammar could be altered a bit. THEY ARE TRYING TO STOP PEOPLE FROM ILLEGALLY PURCHASING GUNS… I really don’t want to keep reading. You need to remember that there are two drastically different views to this topic and you need to keep it open ended during the first paragraph and less opinionated.

Does the lead give a clear indication of what the story will be about, or rely on mystery, or both?  Would more of a thesis be helpful?  Would less of a thesis be advised?  Is the reader aware of the importance of a topic—why it matters and is worth learning about?  Adversely, if for more entertainment purposes, is the topic engaging enough to compel reading?

The lead is very effective at telling me what the rest of the paper will be about but on the other hand I really don’t feel like figuring out what the following paragraphs have to say. You could definitely assume I am pissed but that is because I am a liberal who completely supports and is for gun control. And back to your knife comment, knives are available in the kitchen department of stores like Macys, Target and are even sold at your local grocery store so that is a really bad argument to make. Plus people have been sent to jail for killing with knives plenty of times. You could also say that toxic chemicals should be outlawed too because they can kill people. How about cars? They kill people too. So does alcohol and eating unhealthy. It is all about CHOICES.

Organization:

Consider how the story is structured.  Chronological, thematic, chapter/section-based, inquiry-driven?  Is it effective?  Be specific—if a paragraph doesn’t transition well into the next, mention it and provide suggestions for improvement.

I am going to guess it is thematically structured? You go from one idea to the next so that is just what I am going to figure… I think it is very effective how you present an idea and then your next paragraph discusses it.

Is each paragraph well focused, or are several ideas competing for attention?  How can better focus be achieved?

The paragraph is very well focused, stays on the point of describing how gun auctions are. You could include where they are held and what type of people go to them, what kinds of guns are sold? Is there an age limit to those allowed in? You could also suggest that people should be required to submit a background check before being allowed to attend an auction.

Are there certain points (factual or narrative based) that require more development?  Are you, the reader, unclear at certain points?  Are any ideas superfluous or distracting?

You’re okay with background checks but you’re not okay with gun control? Explain please… It seemed like avid gun owners are pissed about possibly needing a background check before they can buy yet another one of their precious pieces of metal. I would also like to know why men are so angry that the government is trying to oppress their guns but these same people are perfectly fine with women not having the right of a choice over their own body? The same men who want secret guns are totally against abortion and women’s’ rights. So no, I don’t want them to get their secret guns.

Balance of human interest and information.  Point out sections that become too bogged down in dry facts.  Adversely, find sections that rely on narrative without giving the reader proper background information and factual points of reference.

So far there haven’t been many facts supported by citations, just claims. Many things are illegal but still occur, people will always do what they want and try their hardest to do it without getting caught. That’s like complaining about people speeding because there are speed limits on like every road in America. By the way, in the paragraph that begins “Within the past one hundred years…”, where are you finding all your ‘fun facts’? I am curious how you know this information because I do not remember learning this is any of my AP history classes. WAIT! What happened in China between 1949-1976? P.S. 20 million people WERE killed by the government (not was) and contribution should not have an s at the end if he only did 1 thing.

Are claims backed up by examples, evidence, research?  Are sensory details employed effectively?  Are abstractions made concrete through use of examples and details?

Claims are backed up but I don’t think you should compare other countries to us when America is not like other countries. If you want to make a claim about how violence is going to break out then you should use evidence like how violent Americans got during the prohibition period when alcohol was banned, this is a paper about America and our rights, not China’s, Germany’s or Russia’s rights.

How is the story concluded?  Does it wrap up the topic neatly and provide closure?  Does it ask bigger questions or compel the reader to search for more?  Are you left wanting more (and is this a good thing)?  Is it effective?

The author did not provide a conclusion.

Voice and Audience

Characterize the story’s voice and tone?  Is it suitable for the topic?  Is it engaging?  Is it consistent throughout the piece?  If first person POV is used, is this effective or jarring (remember, most story’s should rely on the strength of the topic for engagement, not the evidence of authorial intrusion).

The authors tone is passionate but my mood toward the topic made it harder to read. It is consistent throughout the paper.

Try to characterize the audience.  What venue (publication) do you think this story suits?  Why?  Does the author effectively address this audience (too dumbed-down or sensational, too dry and esoteric)?

The author’s audience is gun lovers because he sure did not appeal to gun control activists. This venue suits a gun magazine. He effectively addresses his audience by supporting free gun purchasing.

Mechanics

Mark any ineffective or over-used word/phrase choices.  Mark any repetitive sentence structures.  Offer advice on vocabulary, syntax, and sentence structure.

My comments on vocabulary/syntax/sentence structure are above. 

An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Peer Review and Commentary—Feature Story

The Lead:

How does the lead pull the reader in and entice her to read on?  Is it surprising, or are claims made that are common knowledge (note: the reader shouldn’t be able to say, ‘well duh.’)?  Is it effective?  Can it be made more effective?  (think details, human drama, evocative language—why/why not do you want to read on?)

The title gives away the drama, we already know who the author is talking about so there is no mystery as to who this remarkable man is. His first paragraph is very blah, I am not interested in reading further. “a variety of characters” is a funny line. Still very blah.

Does the lead give a clear indication of what the story will be about, or rely on mystery, or both?  Would more of a thesis be helpful?  Would less of a thesis be advised?  Is the reader aware of the importance of a topic—why it matters and is worth learning about?  Adversely, if for more entertainment purposes, is the topic engaging enough to compel reading?

Yes, I know exactly what the story will be about. I am still confused as to why reading about Steve Jobs is worth my time. I never knew he was adopted though so that was cool to learn and I also didn’t know his collegiate history, which was interesting to learn as well. I also like the quote the author included about calligraphy. The author’s paper begins to pick up as he writes about Jobs’ life and experiences.

Organization:

Consider how the story is structured.  Chronological, thematic, chapter/section-based, inquiry-driven?  Is it effective?  Be specific—if a paragraph doesn’t transition well into the next, mention it and provide suggestions for improvement.

The story is definitely organized chronologically which is obvious because he starts with Jobs as a child then goes til his death. The author tells his story as Jobs’ life progressed, the grow together.

Is each paragraph well focused, or are several ideas competing for attention?  How can better focus be achieved?

Yes, the paper is well written.

Are there certain points (factual or narrative based) that require more development?  Are you, the reader, unclear at certain points?  Are any ideas superfluous or distracting?

How is his decision to name the company Apple linked to the Beatles? Explain what the Apple I and II are?

Balance of human interest and information.  Point out sections that become too bogged down in dry facts.  Adversely, find sections that rely on narrative without giving the reader proper background information and factual points of reference.

I don’t really see many. The facts really help build the paper and add to its flow.

Are claims backed up by examples, evidence, research?  Are sensory details employed effectively?  Are abstractions made concrete through use of examples and details?

The author doesn’t make too many claims. Details are explained for the most part. Abstractions are connected to the paper.

How is the story concluded?  Does it wrap up the topic neatly and provide closure?  Does it ask bigger questions or compel the reader to search for more?  Are you left wanting more (and is this a good thing)?  Is it effective?

The author concludes the story by making statements about the type of man Steve Jobs was and how he changed the world. I believe that it does wrap up the topic and that his paper supports this last claim. It does not ask any questions or compel the reader to figure out more because the only thing to figure out, his personality, is not really achievable anymore.

Voice and Audience

Characterize the story’s voice and tone?  Is it suitable for the topic?  Is it engaging?  Is it consistent throughout the piece?  If first person POV is used, is this effective or jarring (remember, most story’s should rely on the strength of the topic for engagement, not the evidence of authorial intrusion).

The author has a scholarly tone throughout the story. He really sounds likes he respects and idolizes Steve Jobs. I believe it is suitable for the topic and he is consistent throughout the entire story.

Try to characterize the audience.  What venue (publication) do you think this story suits?  Why?  Does the author effectively address this audience (too dumbed-down or sensational, too dry and esoteric)?

I think the author is trying to engage a scholarly audience, one that is interested in technology and advancements in electronics. He is obviously aiming to entertain people who care about Apple products.

Mechanics

Mark any ineffective or over-used word/phrase choices.  Mark any repetitive sentence structures.  Offer advice on vocabulary, syntax, and sentence structure.

He doesn’t have any obvious grammar mistakes but there are some places where he missed a space or added an extra comma.

A realistic Ironman

The writer gains the readers' attention by introducing who Tony Stark is, which if you have not seen Iron Man, would be completely clueless as to the existence of this character. I like the writer's diction, it is bold and interesting. It says "I don't care that this is an academic paper, I am going to speak my mind." I like how they compare Tony Stark, an imaginary person, to real people and bash the real people for being famous for doing nothing when someone who is smart and actually did something should be considered an idle. But who is Elon Musk? He is Iron Man? I like how the writer begins his paper by talking about a character we are likely to know as an introduction to his real topic. I have never heard of Elon Musk before but I have heard of his products so it is cool learning about this extraordinary man. It is good that he keeps connecting the two subjects throughout the paper because if he forgot about Iron Man then the introduction would be confusing and pointless. I like how he really sells Musk and explains him and his motivation for what he does. The paper is well written, formatted and structured. I maintained interest the entire time and enjoyed it.

Blog A... failure

The introduction gets your attention by describing a personal experience that some have experienced. He relates an experience to a Hatsune Miku concert so that you can understand what they are like. He continues to maintain attention by introducing the fact that she's a software program.

He sets up the rest of the story by talking about how her fans love her and are devoted to her. He continues by supporting her music with the quote "it doesn't take a human to sing a good song." and "It's a good thing she isn't human because she's not going to die or turn into Miley Cyrus, where she gets drunk or something."

The author lost my attention when he started talking about the virtual voice program. He regained my attention when he started talking about creating a backstory for her. I find it very interesting that their culture is more interested in characters than human celebrities and their second creativity. He maintains my attention by talking about popular crazes in Japan. His article takes an interesting twist when he starts talking about the Miku porn. I am not sure if I like the idea of virtualized singers becoming the new thing.

I like real live human beings that you could meet and get to know, ones with a past and life. Books are for second creativity not bands.

Blog iBthinkin'

Feature Story topic ideas:

1. Monster Energy Drinks Effects on Body
Caffeine isn't harmful but energy drinks have always been referred to as dangerous. Is this true or are people hating for no reason?
(I am tired of being told that I am killing myself every time I crack open a can of Monster)
http://www.livestrong.com/article/314475-health-risks-of-monster-energy-drinks/
Monster drinks have too much caffeine and sugar, they are not beneficial or helpful for your health and can lead to health problems.

2. Volkswagen
How did the auto company get its start and become the owner of many popular auto brands today?
(I drive a Volkswagen so I am leaning towards this one)
http://www.nytimes.com/1996/11/07/world/volkswagen-s-history-the-darker-side-is-revisited.html
Europe's biggest auto company, created by Hitler and owner of other sub-companies but a recent book published could ruin their popularity.

3. Meat Production
I hate eating meat and I have heard that meat production mechanisms are disgusting.
(I have already been a vegetarian for so long that this topic makes sense)
http://www.peta.org/issues/animals-used-for-food/meat-wastes-natural-resources.aspx
Farming animals for food uses up a lot of resources like land, food, energy and water.

Nerf'said

The author’s best idea was writing about a childhood toy that is loved and looked back on fondly. I personally know many college students who still own and use Nerf guns currently. They are the perfect harmless toy that leads to hours and hours of entertainment. The author gains the readers’ interest by starting the paper out with a broad topic that left you asking “what is he talking about?” He continued his interesting topic by giving background information on the most important guy throughout the paper so that the reader could get to know him and develop a relationship with him as they continued reading and learning about this man’s life. He was most successful in his paragraphs where he talked about the design process and how the employees work to design toys for the kids. My favorite part was the ending when he mentions the kids having a capture the flag game with the hundreds of darts all across the field. The author was very creative in how he approached this topic, it could have been boring but the way he structured it and the details he included saved it from being a snooze fest. I was really interested in learning about a toy from my childhood that I still use today sometimes that I had never given much thought to.

Comments

Austin: I really like your intro paragraph.
Intro: sets instead of picks?
I really like how you lead up to your subject.
I dont have many objections to your paper or writing, I think you fulfilled the requirements.

Michael: I really like your intro paragraph, I dont have many things to say. It is a very well written paper. Maybe you should become an english major...

iQuestion

Comments:
His intro is weird, confusing and ambiguous.
2nd paragraph: do not use double negatives-super confusing!!! "Don't you just wish...wouldn't"??
"pointy object" be more mature... His vagueness is distracting and confusing.
3rd paragraph: sentences are choppy, awkward flow. "shit" is not appropriate- could've said "teased"
4th paragraph: I don't agree with the writer at all and I think bringing God vs science is a touchy subject. Once again, sentence structure could be improved.
Bad transition to 5th paragraph but I really like your ending.
6th paragraph: don't be so choppy because it doesn't read well.
I admit I like the conclusion the most out of every other paragraph in this paper.

Larry the Lobster

David Wallace uses fieldwork in his culinary essay about lobsters by traveling to Maine during the Maine Lobster Festival. He researched the history and scientific facts about lobsters to educate his readers about the topic at hand. This paper has made me rethink becoming a vegetarian because of the process of killing animals is repulsive. When I was reading about the many ways to prepare a lobster I was freaking out and I will never eat a lobster as a result. I also hate American food festivals because they are a waste of food. Animals are unnecessarily killed for entertainment and I hate it.

I will use fieldwork in my paper by talking to and comparing personal experiences of caffeine affects on my friends and family as well as my own accounts. I will also research effects of caffeine on the internet.

The Broadway Gang

The Broadway Gang by Jon Raymond is about Portland's attempt at an "occupy movement". He is very cynical, mocking Portlanders for their occupy movement attempt. He begins his clear mockery when he is deciding when to visit the occupy movement. He is amazed by the fact that people got together to protest. He very openly hates all the protestors and openly criticizes their choices, their attempt seemed weak. His entire paper is about how lame their protest was and how it was basically just a joke. He compares past protests and their effectiveness, their strength and basically says that this protest is just a group of lazy, dirty drunkards on a sidewalk. They were completely unorganized. Their attempt to make a statement was dwarfed by their lack of ability to host a protest. When midnight finally came, Jon was right. Nothing happened and the entire charade was a waste of time. The first person who acted was given up to be arrested. Jon was objective in his description but he also added his opinion very heavily which helped the description honestly. I feel like even though I wasn't present, I could imagine how the protest was without pictures. It was very effective.

"Shipping Out" to sea

David Foster Wallace discusses cruise-line brochures in this essay. He uses a lot of sarcasm, I love it! His paper is very interesting and I don't lose focus once even with how long it is. The paper would not be as strong without his witty insults towards the ridiculous brochures. His hatred for these money stealing pieces of paper is evident from the beginning with his sarcasm and bitterness. I hate when he makes a connection to the anti-depressant Prozac because I think that is completely out of place and rude. I know he did not mean to make it a personal attack but I think he could have used a different analogy. He does make his point very well though that the brochures are very effective at getting customers and getting people to go on the cruises. Honestly, if people want to spend their money on a cruise then so be it. Let them. It is their money.

Student Sample #4

I loved reading this student's essay. They had proper grammar, their syntax and diction was on point. The writer also used a good combination of personal views with facts. I really like how they quote a lot of famous people who are known for their contributions to science. I could play devil's advocate by pointing out that calling these people "authority figures" is a touchy subject because many modern people disagree with their theories and are working to form their own new ones based off new knowledge. I really like how the write addresses the fact that we will always have differing opinions and viewpoints on subjects like science and religion. It does seem like the write favors science more than Christians and attacks them a bit at the end, destroying her neutral viewpoint that was kept through the entire paper. The writer is very effective at making their point that opinions should be respected and supports it thoroughly in every paragraph.

Bitches be Trippin'

I did not completely understand what an inquiry essay is supposed to look like but after reading "Looking at Women" and "No Wonder They Call me a Bitch", I understand them a little more. “Looking at Women” by Scott, is an inquiry essay that slightly differs to “No Wonder They Call me a Bitch” by Ann. The major difference is that “No Wonder They Call me a Bitch” is about a woman’s personal account experimenting with eating a variety of dog foods while “Looking at Women” is about a man’s personal account of his experiences with women and how men look at them. Also, Scott poses a question that is throughout the entire paper and is answered but Ann does not, she tells you her question in the first paragraph. Ann does not ask the reader a question, she just wrote about her answer to a question she had about dog food. They both begin their essays with a question they have had since they were children. I personally think Scott’s approach to answering his question is much more interesting because he does not flat out ask the reader while Ann’s is more straightforward. Her essay is also repetitive and lacking substance, all she talks about is the different kinds of food she tried. This expanded my understanding of an inquiry because I was not completely sure what to write about but now I am starting to get an idea of what to write about. These two essays have given me the idea to write about how dangerous Monster is to drink. I have been drinking them since I was a child, everyone always comments how bad they are for you but I have always ignored them. Now I want to know what exactly is so bad about Monster Energy Drinks.

Looking at Women

This article relates to our current assignment The Inquiry because it begs a question looking for an answer. How should a man look at women? Women display their bodies in a variety of ways. Some of us cover our bodies leaving it a mystery to men as to what we look like while others flaunt their skin to their surroundings. Should a man ignore a woman just because she is covered because she prefers attention as a result of her personality instead of her body? Should a man be allowed to gawk at a woman who is not dressed because she inherently gave him the right to stare at her when she decided to go outside with "nothing on"? Why do women expose their skin only to get upset from the attention they receive? I believe that how a woman dresses greatly reflects the type of attention she wants from a man and how she wants to be treated. Men have no control over their sexual instincts, no matter how much they try because that is how our culture has trained men to look at women through magazines, movies and commercials. Women have always been objects for sale in some form but now it is through prostitution, special films and magazine pictures. These pictures the media are feeding us create these false ideals of what the female form should be because these women that men look at for hours are claimed to be perfect and the normal woman cannot rival that. As a result of basic animal instincts “nothing in men is more machinelike than the flipping of sexual switches” which seems to be the only way men look at women anymore. You overhear the discussion of girls’ looks more than their personality among men. This is not how they should be looked at because we are humans too. We have emotions, feelings and a brain too. Women should be admired for her intelligence, personality and feminism. 

Thesis: BOOSLA

I took a photography class in high school for two years so I know a little about photography and how photographers think. I understand that every photographer has their own preferences about which subjects they shoot. I believe that Shelby Lee Adams is a documenter not an artist. I cannot look at his work and think “this is a brilliant piece of art!” When I see it, thoughts about the people, their lives and what is going on in the picture come to my mind. I think Shelby is just promoting people and their culture and lifestyle but I do not think he is creating artwork that should be sold or displayed in art museums. If he has a passion to take portraits then he should become a paparazzi, he already is like one. Art is typically abstract and evokes emotion but his photos do not qualify. Just because he is taking pictures of people that are not popular like celebrities does not make his work unique or abstract. There are many other photographers who ‘document’ lives and situations but their work is not referred to as art either. On the condition of emotion being provoked, art stimulates emotion in your heart, personal feelings that are being exposed by interpretations but his photos do not follow this because they evoke pity and sadness for the subject. Personally I believe that he is taking advantage of his subjects.  

In Plato's Cave

A lot of photographers have the same viewpoint on the art but there are always the few outliers. I kind of agree with Susan Sontag and Shelby Lee Adams but I prefer not to take photos of people because I enjoy capturing moments in nature. Susan and Shelby share very many opinions about their artwork and the art of photography, their viewpoints are basically identical in comparison. They both like to catch humanity in their photographs and if you look at their work, that is all they have done. Both artists believe that they are collecting the world by taking their photos, they believe them to be artifacts, capturing moments of a time period that can be looked at in the future. Both photographers believe that photos represent parts of the visible world and are an interpretation of the world around us but at the same time photographers greatly influence what they capture. They agree that the audience viewing their work interprets the photographs uniquely based of their personal lives, conventions, ideology and the values of society at the time. Shelby and Susan impose their preference by choosing what pictures they take. They try to capture events that are important to the subjects, like you are there experiencing it with the people and to expose a lifestyle. They both believe that everything exists in the world today to be photographed. Susan believes that repetition takes the affective capacities and becomes less real which is evident in Shelby Lee Adams’ photos.

Shelby Lee Adams

I believe that Shelby Lee Adams will follow the footsteps of many famous artists that used to be disregarded as not real artists. It seems to be a common pattern among the art community that you do not become famous for your hard work until after you have died. Shelby joins the revolutionary artist group. I do not understand why he is disliked because there are other famous photographers that produce work like him but are praised in the art community. He may not be shooting gorgeous black and white scenery shots but his photographs send a message. In time he will be referred to a visionary for stepping outside of the box and photographing normal people instead of chasing around celebrities. The only reason why he is disregarded is because his subjects aren’t the beloved celebs who are plastered all over every magazine cover. Also, art is a subjective form that heavily relies on the personal tastes of the audience. I agree that I do not like his photographs but that is because I do not like portraits because I prefer scenery and nature pictures over ones of faces. On the other hand, some people have no desire to look at trees or water and would rather purchase or take photographs of someone. Everything in life is unique to the individual. I personally commend Shelby for having the courage to photograph an unpopular subject because no one ever thinks to stop and take a look or think about the fact that the United States does have impoverished areas. I love how he is showing the old American ideal of hard working individuals. I think it's ironic that people are getting upset about photos of "ugly" people when the exact opposite occurs too. There are critics of "beautiful" people photos too, you cannot please everyone because someone will always be upset. 

Clavadetscher's Primary Sources

"American Cribbage Congress Website." American Cribbage Congress Website. ACC, n.d. Web. 27 Jan. 2013. <http://www.cribbage.org/>.[1]

"Basketball." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 27 Jan. 2013. Web. 27 Jan. 2013.[2]

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[1] Cribbage is an older game that most people have heard of but never really played. It is one of my favorite games to play and is always out when I am home. My mom trained me for years as a child by giving rewards like chocolate if I won and now I beat her majority of the time. Three years ago there was a large snow storm in Northern Virginia which knocked out our power for a couple days so we played by candle light during our breaks from shoveling the inches of snow off of our driveway. As a result of this assignment I learned about cribbage tournaments that occur in Nevada, I did not know this game was that popular.

[2] Soccer was my life from kindergarten to 5^th grade until I was converted to playing basketball after playing with the boys at recess. I played with my best friend Jesse outside every day and then I tried out for a team and that was the beginning of my basketball career. I was 5’2” as an 11 year old so I got to play center until 7^th grade when I tried out for a travel team and became a shooting guard. I quickly switched from tallest to shortest girl on the team in one tryout. I was converted from then on, basketball became my life. Practice was my favorite time of the day because I’d go from practicing with the girls to playing with the boys to playing against older men who were 30-50. I was talked into trying out for my high school’s team and played for them for a year. I met one of my best friends through basketball and I still love basketball today. I go to every home Tech basketball game.

Research and Me!

Research is important according to this article because the scientists believed that a specific gene was the cause for human exploration. To test this theory they would need to have a control group and many different subjects ranging from sedentary humans to explorers and compare gene levels or whether the gene was present. Also, research proved that Tupaia’s people came from the same location that Cook’s people came from even though they are vastly different 50,000 to 70,000 years later. You could even consider exploration as a type of research. Think about it, you have a theory about a location that may or may not exist therefore you venture out and study it, collect information and then form a conclusion based off your results. This is known as the scientific method. Humans have also devoted a lot of time and still are, to studying other animals to see how they work compared to humans. We are born with the curiosity to learn and research helps us to find the answers to our questions, broadening our knowledge. Research was also vital in discovering the DRD4 and 7R genes because with further study scientists can discover what they honestly regulate or stimulate in the brain, because right now they are assuming but with further research they can have concrete evidence supporting their claim, and which animals have these particular genes that cause certain behaviors. As Kidd said, “You can’t reduce a complex behavior to a single gene, genetics doesn’t work that way.” It is a true fact that is studied by biopsychologists every day.