Blog A... failure

The introduction gets your attention by describing a personal experience that some have experienced. He relates an experience to a Hatsune Miku concert so that you can understand what they are like. He continues to maintain attention by introducing the fact that she's a software program.

He sets up the rest of the story by talking about how her fans love her and are devoted to her. He continues by supporting her music with the quote "it doesn't take a human to sing a good song." and "It's a good thing she isn't human because she's not going to die or turn into Miley Cyrus, where she gets drunk or something."

The author lost my attention when he started talking about the virtual voice program. He regained my attention when he started talking about creating a backstory for her. I find it very interesting that their culture is more interested in characters than human celebrities and their second creativity. He maintains my attention by talking about popular crazes in Japan. His article takes an interesting twist when he starts talking about the Miku porn. I am not sure if I like the idea of virtualized singers becoming the new thing.

I like real live human beings that you could meet and get to know, ones with a past and life. Books are for second creativity not bands.

Blog iBthinkin'

Feature Story topic ideas:

1. Monster Energy Drinks Effects on Body
Caffeine isn't harmful but energy drinks have always been referred to as dangerous. Is this true or are people hating for no reason?
(I am tired of being told that I am killing myself every time I crack open a can of Monster)
http://www.livestrong.com/article/314475-health-risks-of-monster-energy-drinks/
Monster drinks have too much caffeine and sugar, they are not beneficial or helpful for your health and can lead to health problems.

2. Volkswagen
How did the auto company get its start and become the owner of many popular auto brands today?
(I drive a Volkswagen so I am leaning towards this one)
http://www.nytimes.com/1996/11/07/world/volkswagen-s-history-the-darker-side-is-revisited.html
Europe's biggest auto company, created by Hitler and owner of other sub-companies but a recent book published could ruin their popularity.

3. Meat Production
I hate eating meat and I have heard that meat production mechanisms are disgusting.
(I have already been a vegetarian for so long that this topic makes sense)
http://www.peta.org/issues/animals-used-for-food/meat-wastes-natural-resources.aspx
Farming animals for food uses up a lot of resources like land, food, energy and water.

Nerf'said

The author’s best idea was writing about a childhood toy that is loved and looked back on fondly. I personally know many college students who still own and use Nerf guns currently. They are the perfect harmless toy that leads to hours and hours of entertainment. The author gains the readers’ interest by starting the paper out with a broad topic that left you asking “what is he talking about?” He continued his interesting topic by giving background information on the most important guy throughout the paper so that the reader could get to know him and develop a relationship with him as they continued reading and learning about this man’s life. He was most successful in his paragraphs where he talked about the design process and how the employees work to design toys for the kids. My favorite part was the ending when he mentions the kids having a capture the flag game with the hundreds of darts all across the field. The author was very creative in how he approached this topic, it could have been boring but the way he structured it and the details he included saved it from being a snooze fest. I was really interested in learning about a toy from my childhood that I still use today sometimes that I had never given much thought to.

Comments

Austin: I really like your intro paragraph.
Intro: sets instead of picks?
I really like how you lead up to your subject.
I dont have many objections to your paper or writing, I think you fulfilled the requirements.

Michael: I really like your intro paragraph, I dont have many things to say. It is a very well written paper. Maybe you should become an english major...

iQuestion

Comments:
His intro is weird, confusing and ambiguous.
2nd paragraph: do not use double negatives-super confusing!!! "Don't you just wish...wouldn't"??
"pointy object" be more mature... His vagueness is distracting and confusing.
3rd paragraph: sentences are choppy, awkward flow. "shit" is not appropriate- could've said "teased"
4th paragraph: I don't agree with the writer at all and I think bringing God vs science is a touchy subject. Once again, sentence structure could be improved.
Bad transition to 5th paragraph but I really like your ending.
6th paragraph: don't be so choppy because it doesn't read well.
I admit I like the conclusion the most out of every other paragraph in this paper.

Larry the Lobster

David Wallace uses fieldwork in his culinary essay about lobsters by traveling to Maine during the Maine Lobster Festival. He researched the history and scientific facts about lobsters to educate his readers about the topic at hand. This paper has made me rethink becoming a vegetarian because of the process of killing animals is repulsive. When I was reading about the many ways to prepare a lobster I was freaking out and I will never eat a lobster as a result. I also hate American food festivals because they are a waste of food. Animals are unnecessarily killed for entertainment and I hate it.

I will use fieldwork in my paper by talking to and comparing personal experiences of caffeine affects on my friends and family as well as my own accounts. I will also research effects of caffeine on the internet.